Raptor Hunters - Not long after watching Jurrasic Park, I had a dream-turned-nightmare that my brothers and father started a raptor extermination business. We'd ride around the jungle in a white jeep hunting and killing velociraptors. This was all fine and dandy till one of my brothers and I fell out of the jeep and had to run throug the jungle for our lives. When we finally did get back on the jeep, for some reason my dad thought it would be awesome to start spinning cookies in a clearing. he spun too fast, I flew out of the jeep and landed broken legged and helpless in the jungle, said "oh shit" and woke up.
Pink is My Kinda Lover - So I'm riding down a dirt road in an all black and white world in a pink Ford Model T driven by Inspector gadget in a pink trenchcoat and hat, and the pink panther riding shotgun. I'm in the back seat. We drive out onto a frozen lake, and get out to go ice skating when I notice the pink power ranger trapped in the ice beneath. Cut to scene 2, the lake has melted, it's now summer and colorful outside, and there's a mario coin floating in the water above me. I swim up to grab it, but as soon as I touch it I begin to sink. I release it, and I float again..... then I wake up.
The Search For the Crown Jewels of Crazy - Imagine the movie the Goonies right up until they find the pirate ships, except instead of a band of misfits, it's only my brother and I. Also we find a room full of arcade games and the floor is covered in quarters. I warn against him playing one, but he does anyway and falls down a trap door. Eventually I escape the cave, and find a secret passageway under my bed, turns out the Crown Jewels were there the whole time. I walk into my closet (which apparently is where the reigning heads of England meet for nightly meetings.) And offer to sell the newly rediscovered crown jewels to the Queen (who incidentally is my grandmother) She offers only 5 dollars, which I scoff at, and return to my room with the jewels in a burlap sack. I throw them to the ground and stomp on them, only to discover that they were in fact only bean shaped billiard balls.
And finally, the most revealing of my childhood dreams.
About once a week, I dreamt about a family vacation to my aunt and uncle's house. On the way there in our station wagon (we didn't actually own a station wagon) we'd pass by a cheeto's factory that was spitting cheetos out of a spout on top. There were piles and piles of cheetos stacked around the factory. When one went inside, you could order cheetos like you'd order lunch at hardees, but it was all cheetos. You could order one cheeto, two cheetos, one thousand cheetos.... however many you desired. Anyway, after we left the cheeto factory we'd arrive at my aunt and uncle's house. I was, for some reason, left alone quite often at my aunt and uncle's house (which by the way was far larger than their real house, and wayyyy more deco;...maybe that's why I like art deco....) and if I moved the antennas on the tv just right, the mountain behind their house would open up, and reveal a marvelous land of woodland creatures and flowers and such. I could then go and frolick with the birds and rabbits etc. etc. etc.
This dream began when I was about 10 and recurred quite frequently. Then one night it changed, and I never had it again.
The trip there was the same, except that the cheeto factory had shut down. It no longer shot cheetos out of the spout on top, and we couldn't go in and order cheetos. We got to my aunt and uncle's house, I moved the antennas, and the mountain parted once more, but all I found there was a GIANT ROBOT STOMPING ON EVERYTHING!!!!!! I woke up crying and never wanted to fall asleep again.
You can't make this crap up
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